


How Do You Reconcile?

by WhiskerFrisker



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad Decisions, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Blood, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Character Death, Comfort, Confessions, Cussing, Desperation, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Graphic Description, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, Regret, Scary, Sleepy Cuddles, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Undertale Saves and Resets, undertale - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 17:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16288880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskerFrisker/pseuds/WhiskerFrisker
Summary: A collection of memories not quite in order, but they all piece together the story. A young lady has fallen from the sky into a new world to experience something completely different. She finds herself lost in a fictional world with monsters and magic, and she recognizes this place all too well. Undertale. A game she once played not too long ago, and that's all it had been at the time. Now? She's desperately scraping her memories to get through every step with the best outcomes possible, and it's not easy. She's desperate to try anything.Through her trials and tribulations alongside the moments of peace and tranquility, she finds herself and others through the dark. She finds solace in a select few underground, and with their company she finds the will to move on. One by one, as each moment passes, she realizes she's not such a scaredy-cat failure after all.





	How Do You Reconcile?

**Author's Note:**

> A new story, beginning with a bit of fluffy and fear, because I need some fluff. And some absolute traumatizing moments as well, can't forget those.
> 
> This will change point of views for each chapter, partly because I write how I think the story benefits best from, and partly because I can't decide sometimes.

I sigh as I raise from the crouched position beside the save point in front of the Inn. I take a moment to steady my shaking nerves by inspecting the Inn and the shop standing before me, and then let my eyes wander over everything I can see as I turn in a slow circle. The chill of the air nips my skin and makes me shiver, so I decide to stop stalling and begin my walk to Grillby's, my feet feeling heavy and resistant with each step. I'm hoping this talk will go over well, or else… I'll have to resort to drastic measures so no one can remember what was said. I had to phrase and order my words just right so he wouldn't assume the worst before giving me a chance and really listening to me. 

I planned to tell Sans where I really came from. Not just from the surface, but from an entirely different reality. I need help with this situation, partly because I have almost zero idea of how me being here could be possible outside of stupid science fiction stuff that doesn't even have any proper scientific explanation. I'm also craving guidance, or even just ideas, for the best course of action in each situation, and though I could get this from Toriel, I felt someone who could understand the situation would have more relevant advice to provide. Sans is, or was, a scientist with some understanding of timelines, so he'd be most likely to understand how this works. I also need guidance because I've been constantly confused and desperately tumbling the whole ordeal through my head since I first woke up underground, and at this point I can't even think straight when I think about it. I'm ready to try anything. I made a plan, and as long as I have the ability to reload, I can try this conversation as many times as I want without any physical repercussions to myself. As for mental repercussions… it's not important at this point, because I already feel pretty insane as it is.

Breaking from my thoughts, I sigh and sike myself up before pushing through the door into Grillby's.

.  
..  
...

“... not from here… and after I played this game…” Sans and I have been satisfied at the bar for a little while now as I've talked, and I've refused to look at him until now. I finally glance at Sans after monologuing, and then do a double take before freezing up.

Sans’ hand is cover his left socket with a somber smile on his face. His skeleton smile is still present on his face, but the edges are tense and almost downturned. His covered eye socket seems to flicker a bit behind his hand. His other hand is gripping the counter so forcefully that, when I focus on it, I can faintly hear the word frame creak. 

This look terrified me into jumping out of my seat to stand beside the counter with a shaky smile. “W-well, I-I gotta use the bathroom. Yeah, heh…” and without a second thought, I bolt for the fire exit. I hear sounds of confusion from a few spots in the diner, but I press through and manage to dash through the fire exit door… and then nearly run into the fiery bartender himself. “Grillby!” I nearly leap out of my skin as I stumble back, posture tense and voice sounding nervous as I talk fast. “Hah, hi, I know this is meant to be a fire exit but I forgot what that…” I trail off when I realize this is wasting time, and plus he gives me a strange look as I blabber. So I change the subject quickly, “Uh hey, I need to get out of here!” I glance around as I speak. “Is there a…” I spy an actual exit door on the opposite side of the room. “Yes!” I get halfway before a wood block with handles sticking out catches my eye as it sits on the counter. I leap for it as I speak, “I need a knife!” And then I run out the exit door and nearly run into someone else with a blue jacket. 

“Going somewhere?” I pale when I see that Sans’ face is dark, and yet he still has that smile.

“Uh…” in a split second I decide to put my plan into action and slice my wrist with the knife, immediately yelping and hissing at the pain.

For a moment, my eyesight sharpens as I look to see Sans’ shocked face, eye sockets widened, and his eye lights start slightly quivering as he stares at my wrist. After this moment, my vision starts to blur and I shove him to the ground to give me a head start, yelling “Fuck you!” for good measure.

I run into the woods behind Grillby's place to get away from everything and nearly trip a few times on a bush or a tree limb, cursing each time. At some point after a short while, I twist my ankle on one of the branches and stumble forward, so I put my hands out to catch myself. In my moment of instinct, I had forgotten about one clear factor held in my hand. As I hit the ground, a sharp pain hits my throat, making me gag. I try to lift myself, but my head goes extremely fuzzy and my arms immediately fail me. My neck now has a sharp stinging sensation and my eyesight is getting blurrier each passing second. I start coughing up something wet and taste it on my tongue as I see it splatter the ground in front of me. As my hand reaches for my throat in slow motion, it takes my brain a while to process what I'm choking on. The metallic taste, the dark liquid on the snow, and the touch to my filleted neck has me thinking, “oh.”

I lay there for a moment trying my best to get a clear breath, but it doesn't work out and only seems to get worse. I remember, with a foggy brain, that there's a vein in the thigh that can make this quicker. So with a shaky hand, I barely manage to roll on my good and try to move the knife to my thighs. I try to press the blade against my skin, but it slips a little and twists in my weak grip. I grunt in irritation and maneuver the knife into a better position, then use all of my energy to grip it tight. I begin to press down, feeling the resistance under the blade. 

Just as I feel my skin start to give, the tension suddenly disappears from between my fingers and they close around nothing. It takes me a minute to realise that the blade missing, and when I do, I look around with hazy eyes to see where it went. Instead of finding the knife, I see two fuzzy pink spots right next to my stomach. I frown and slowly roll on my back to look up, causing the blood in my mouth to start pooling in the back of my throat.

Through my blurry vision, I make out a skull with two empty, pitch black eye sockets. I stare up at the strange thing for a minute before I realize it's Sans. I feel a distant sense of fear spike through me, but I can't quite understand why the feeling is suddenly there. As I spit more blood from my mouth, I hear articulated noises coming from Sans’ direction. It sounds like he's trying to speak to me, but I can't really understand what he's saying. 

It only takes a few seconds of laying there and gagging up blood when I start to have a really hard time clearing my throat. I try to take a breath, but my lungs fill with blood instead and my body jerks in panic as a result. On instinct, I start clawing at my chest to clear my airway, but of course it doesn't work and instead only serves to tear open the wound on my wrist as it rubs against my shirt. As my body starts spasming from a lack of air, it hits me that I'm drowning, and reality suddenly becomes blindingly sharp.

“-hit, don't die like this kid. Don't…” In my moment of clarity, I see Sans crouched and leaning over me with some kind of distress, and I think he must be the one speaking. His arm is outstretched to my neck as panic twists his face.  
After a few more failed attempts to clear my lungs, I feel myself start to drift off. My eyes flutter closed, and I feel something touch both my shoulders and push me, but then it all drifts away.

~~~

I gasp heavily for a clear breath and fall on my butt, grabbing my shirt as I manage to breath clear and easy. It takes me a moment to come to my senses, and when I do, I see the save point next to the Inn right in front of me. I sigh in relief and slump forward, leaning my head against the snow.

After a moment of calm, I suddenly feel eyes on me, and the sound of quick snowy footsteps stand out from the rest of the quiet buzzing of Snowdin Town. I look up and around in curiosity, and then I spot Sans moving towards me from Grillby's. His pace is quicker than usual, and his sockets are scrunched in a small frown. It only takes me a moment to remember...he has the best memory of loads and resets out of anyone else in the game, besides Flowey of course. Regardless, this thought has me on my feet in a split second as I stare him down.

His pace quickens a bit more to a power walk, and I take this as my cue to get the heck out of dodge. I bolt for the trees yet again, and this time I'm not nearly as clumsy since there's a defining lack of blood loss occurring. “Shit shit, shit! So stupid of course he'd remember! God, what was I thinking!” My lungs feel chilled as I gulp down the cold air, and it feels slightly reminiscent of my death mere moments before. I start gasping for air as I keep running as hard as I can through the thick forestry. Branches slap my face and arms whenever possible, and bushes and perfectly positioned fallen limbs scrape up my chilled legs. The pain from the scratches and my inability to run for long coupled with the memory of drowning on my own blood brings tears to my eyes, and soon enough I've slowed to a borderline walk, legs now made of jelly. 

Finally, after stumbling forward a little while longer, I nearly collapse from the exhaustion and overwhelming panic. I barely manage to grab a tree and hold on as I gasp and sob, taking painful shaky breaths. I feel like I'm dying all over again, and I swear I can taste that same metallic tang on tongue. My breath doesn't seem to be gathering enough air fast enough, and before I know it, I'm bent over gagging on my own spit. After a few fruitless heaves, I fall to my hands and knees with a sob and continue crying while trying to calm my erratic heart beat. Through the tears, I pat my chest slowly with a trembling hand and try to do some breathing exercises. I try slowing my breathing, but just as I feel like I'm getting somewhere, my anxiety spikes and I start wildly crying and hyperventilating.

Something touches my shoulder and I jerk forward with a cry of fear. “Shhhh…” someone says, and they touch my shoulder again. I tremble in fear for my life because I can't even stand with my erratic breathing, so running is out of the question. The hand on my shoulder starts petting my back however, and it reminds me of when my mom would comfort me whenever I was sick and bent over the toilet. It only takes a moment before I manage to ground myself on this touch. Finally, I start making more progress on calming my breathing with a slow and steady decline. 

When I'm finally able to stop sobbing and wheezing, I wipe my eyes with my hands and take deep shuddering breaths. After a second more of firmly grounding myself, I look over to the one that helped me with gratitude on the tip of my tongue. However, said gratitude is swallowed back and gets stuck in my throat when I see Sans. I jerk back with a hiccup-like noise of distress.

He leans back a bit with his hands in a placating gesture. “Hey there, chill out, I'm snow big deal, see?” I give him a concerned and nervous stare. My hesitance seems to press him to add, “No bones about it.”

I decide to relax just slightly and return to my previous slouch, still giving him a nervous look. I can't help but feel a bit uncomfortable with him crouched so close, his feet only a foot away, and the way he slightly leans over me only adds to my anxiety.

“So…” he says, looking off to the side in thought for a moment. “What exactly was that about-?”

I cut him off with a tense and shaky response “No.” I look straight ahead, not daring to look at him right now. Silence stretches as my breath comes out in small shaky billows of chilling moisture. 

Finally, I hear Sans sigh and then speak, “Well, maybe later then.” He gives a soft touch to my shoulder, but I still flinch a bit at the contact, still feeling on edge. “Guess we should head back before you become a human popsicle, eh?” I take a moment to process what's happening before giving a simple nod, still with a tense and nervous look on my face. “Alright,” Sans replies, standing up with a small huff before offering his hand to help me up. 

I look to the hand, then barely glance at his face in distrust before looking away in thought. I feel a slight awkwardness grace the air which makes me frown, so I get up with a huff of my own and immediately feel the melted snow on my butt chill me to my core. Sans still has his hand outstretched to me. “C'mon, I know a shortcut,” he says, a seemingly innocent smile on the surface of his expression.

I frown at the hand and then turn away to retrace my footsteps, giving a hesitant yet curt reply, “No thanks.”

I hear a small rustle of clothes that I presume is Sans shrugging before he says, “Suit yourself.” We only walk for what seems like a minute before I find the end of the woods that clear out into Snowdin. I frown and move to look at Sans, but a firm hand lands heavily on my shoulder, making me freeze up. “Don't…” his voice starts out deeper and tense, making a wave of ice wash over me. Thankfully, his next words aren't so intense, “try anything funny, kid.” I feel myself shaking in my boots as I hear the dark undertone to his otherwise chill voice. The hand pats my shoulder twice before letting go, and Sans walks around me to stand a couple steps in front of me. He looks back at me as he speaks, “I enjoy a good joke, but… dark humor isn't the best for punchlines.” I swallow hard as I stare at him with a trembling that I can't quite chalk up to the cold. After a moment of being frozen in fear, I nod slightly. This seems to satisfy him, because he turns around to walk back into Snowdin, and that's when I release the breath I hadn't even know I'd been holding.

I stand there watching him, contemplating making another break for it and trying this last save again, but he turns back to me and the moment is lost. “Ya comin’?” There's something in his voice that says 'you better be,’ so I nod nervously and take stiff steps over to him. Despite my hopes, he doesn't start walking again until I'm right next to him.

I feel my heart quivering with nerves for the next unforseen minutes into the future as I walk with Sans who is mere inches away from me. I feel crowded by his presence. Occasionally, his arm bumps mine and makes a jolt of electricity go up my spine, making me jolt and cringe. I have the suspicion that he's doing it on purpose, partly because he keeps glancing at me. I attempt to lose his evenness with me by walking slower or faster than him, but he always seems to keep pace, so I resolve to live in this torturous moment as we move closer and closer to the skeleton bros’ house. 

As we near the four-way point in the path, I feel my heart tremble harder in trepidation, and I look to the trees behind Grillby's in longing. Another bump to my arm makes me jump and I whip my head around to look at Sans. He's side-eyeing me with the same smile as always, and I feel my stomach churn with nerves, “whatsa matter, kid? My company too dull for you? Heh, I am usually making puns, aren't I?” My brow furrows upward in worry as I look ahead of us. “Ok, icy ya giving me the cold shoulder there, but hear me out. The day's been on the chillier side of things. Catch my snowdrift?”

A small twitch escapes my tense expression,but I completely get his 'snowdrift’ as my brow furrows more with worry.

“Heh, there it is. You're smiling, I can tell. Speaking of snowflakes, where do they go when they have to withdraw cash? ...To the snowbank.”

I frown harder, but mostly because I don't want to smile and his attempts to distract me are unsettling. This is serious, and if I'm not ready for anything, then I'll have to go through another reload, which is completely unnecessary and useless since Sans remembers all. I look off to the side quickly so I don't have to see Sans’ face out of the corner of my eye.

“Heh, what do skiers eat for lunch? ...Icebergers.”

I scrunch my face up with puffed up cheeks and my posture gets stiff as I try best not to smile. Some lame jokes aren't going to have me letting my guard down.

“Why can't you rely on snow during the holiday seasons?” I scrunch my nose up at this. “Because it's so flaky.” I swear I hear 'badum-ksh’ in the background, and that's when I can't help the snort that escapes as I try to take a calming breath. I quickly cover my mouth and nose as I keep my eyes away from Sans, pouting at this point. It doesn't help my mood when I hear Sans start laughing at me. “Didn't know you had pig in you, kid.” 

I quickly scrub at my face and whine, “stooop…”

“Heh, nah, I'm on a roll.” I whine again, covering my face to hide the obvious fact that I'm trying not to laugh. I hear floorboards creak, and then a door squeaks open. Confused, I look up and realize that we've reached our destination, and my face drops along with my heart. Sans motions into the house, “After you.”

I feel my face twitch slightly in the beginnings of a reflexive smile towards kindness before I take a deep breath and move into the house, a possible death trap. When the door shuts a bit too loudly behind me, I flinch and note the possibility for this being a death trap beginning to rise. I swallow as I stand stock still beside the table with the pet rock, and I feel Sans’ presence behind me, filling me with even more trepidation.

“So, about that talk,” and there he goes again. A particular song pops in my head with that thought, so indulge in remembering it for as long as I can stretch this out. It doesn't take long for me to be jarred from my thoughts, because yet again I'm startled by a hand firmly landing on my shoulder. This time however, I'm swiveled around, quite easily might I add, to face Sans, and I feel myself beginning to tremble yet again. Sans has that same smile as he stares up at me, but his sockets have certain intensity to their widened stare that I feel myself being nailed down. I swallow yet again and look away from his eye lights that have wasted no time in pinning me down. 

“Why don't ya take a seat,” he speaks with a calm, almost firm tone masked a bit with incentive for my agreement. I look to him when he speaks, and I feel myself hesitating before moving towards the couch with tense posture. When I sit down, I watch Sans’ feet move to about a foot in front of me, and then they stop. I feel this is out of character for him, as he would most likely be the type to take a seat to level the “playing field.” I start to get even more nervous and feel my breathing pick up and shake a bit. I don't want to look him in the eye… sockets, but I know it's going to happen eventually. The silence stretches on, and with each passing second, I feel my anxiety rising to the point that I can't quite catch my breath and my hands feel clammy. 

I jolt in my skin when I hear Sans suddenly sigh, and then I watch his feet move over to the other side of the sofa where he sits right up next to me with a mere two inches of space between us. I can see his face from my peripheral vision, which means he can see mine as well, so I quickly look away from his feet to stare at my own, hands clasped in my lap and shoulders hunched. 

“This is probably hard to talk about, but… I just wanna know… why?” He sounds genuinely confused, and there's clear hesitance in his tone, but there's something almost dark on the edges of his voice that makes me tremble again.

I clamp my hands together tighter until my knuckles go white, and then I let out a breath before speaking, “... I… I didn't wanna...mess up.” I clench my hands tight again to steady my churning stomach and tensed nerves, wishing terribly that I could successfully bolt from this house.

“... Whaddya mean?” I frown at the floor clench my hands tight again, irritated that he acts as if he can't figure it out for himself. “... The conversation we had?” I let my hands loosen a bit as I sigh quietly in relief that I don't have to explain the obvious. “So… you regretted telling me that stuff?”

I take a moment of silence to gather my thoughts before responding, “... I didn't like how… h-how it went down…” my voice starts to waver as I speak the last bit, and I feel tears start to brim in my eyes.

“So you decided to kill yourself?” he sounds somewhat astounded and a bit angry even, which slightly shocks me. “You really thought that death would be better than facing your own consequences?” I sniffle as I think over how ridiculous this sounds, and feel like my stupidity is being thrown back in my face.”What exactly made you think that was a good idea.”

“...i-” choking on my own words with a sniffle, I have to take a moment before trying to speak again,”I… I didn't want it… t-to go… I didn't want to m-make you m-mad…” my voice is watery and shaking as I speak in a higher pitched tone.

I feel and see Sans sit back against the couch. Silence only broken by my sniffles stretches on for a minute before Sans mutters,”didn't wanna make me mad… huh.” I tense more as I hear irritation under his seemingly lackadaisical voice. “Well… I dunno bout you, but I think your plan kinda flopped in the wrong direction there. Seems like ya forgot a few crucial details.” I only manage a weak nod in response. The silence stretches over the house once more, and this time I manage to stifle my sniffles. 

After a minute of sitting next to me in the silence, Sans leans forward so his he'd is next to mine, and it feels too close for comfort once again. He seems to study my face for a moment before he closes his eye sockets. “Howsabout we cool it for the evening. Maybe Paps'll make some spaghetti for ya.”

As Sans gets up, the mention of Papyrus sticks a cord in my memory, and I sit bolt upright. “Oh, P-Papyrus! He, h-he's out there w-waiting-.”

“I'll call him,” Sans interrupts as he moves into the kitchen. His footsteps stop when I can't see him anymore, so I listen for his supposed call. When no sound comes for about ten seconds, I frown and feel the need to check it out. However, I don't dare move from my spot, still feeling out of place and on edge, not wanting to do anything wrong. Instead, I start to think about what happened today, and what didn't happen in this load. I start to remember the burning sensation through my hazy memory of the moment I realized my neck had been sliced, and the drowning sensation I felt when my lungs filled with blood. I remember the way my wrist stung so violently and the sharp staggering pain that raced up my arm when I made the cut. The look Sans had on his face when he saw me do it.

The door burst open and slammed against the wall, startling me into jumping off the couch with a shriek before face planting the carpet.

“OH DEAR, HUMAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” I feel strong skeletal hands, much larger than Sans’, pick me up by my armpits. I blink my eyes clear of the sudden changes in lighting as Papyrus speaks, his loud voice making me flinch, “OH DEAR, YOU'RE TREMBLING! DID YOU HURT YOURSELF HUMAN?” Before I can reply, I feel myself getting twisted around and turned sideways midair,and I manage to catch sight of Papyrus looking me over. ‘He's so nice, what?’ “HM,YOU DON'T SEEM INJURED HUMAN. UNLESS…” He puts me in the crook of his arm as his other hand taps his chin in thought. My face goes blank as I can only think to myself ‘Oh, okay, this is happening now.’ I find Sans standing right in front of me with laughter written all over his face, so I squint at him and cross my arms despite hanging from my waist. Though the earlier actions and conversations had me on edge, I feel a bit safer with Papyrus in my vicinity, even if he is currently trying to hand me over to Undyne. And with that thought, I feel my veins grow slightly colder. Just as my thoughts start to spiral, I jolt at Papyrus’ loud voice,”GASP! IS IT AN INVISIBLE INJURY?!” And once again I'm yanked around and back to being held before him by my armpits, which are kind of sweaty…

I blink at him a few times before I register what he said. “Oh, uh… no? I dunno, really…” I can't find it in myself to give a clear answer, mainly because of the Undyne issue, and knowing Papyrus, he's about to say something that will definitely help me out.

“OH NO! YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL IF YOU'RE HURT? I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD BE USEFUL FOR BATTLE… BUT WORRY NOT! FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR TROUBLING TIME!” 

'Oh thank God…’ I sigh in relief at this statement, now feeling more assured about the near future… but only the very, very near future.

“YES, I WILL NURSE YOU BACK TO HEALTH, HUMAN! AND YOU WILL SLEEP IN MY BED UNTIL YOU ARE FEELING BETTER! NYEH HEH HEH!!” And then he puts me in his arms like I'm a baby.

“Uh, wait, what?” Despite knowing Papyrus’ character, this kindness still catches me off guard. “W-wait,” I say as he starts walking towards the stairs. “Where will you sleep?”

“NYEH? I… DO NOT KNOW YET! BUT I WILL SOON FIND OUT, NYEH HEH!” He seems happy about this as he climbs the stairs with me in his arms.

I blink in astonishment at Papyrus, feeling strange as someone other than my close family going out of their way to help me feel assured and comfortable. “Uh… what?”

Papyrus continues to speak once we're in his room. “THIS IS MY ROOM! I SPENT A GREAT AMOUNT OF TIME, ALMOST AS GREAT AS I, ENSURING IT LOOKED AS COOL AS I DO.” He lays me in his bed and pulls the covers over me. I'm still completely shocked as I stare up at Papyrus in awe. “I SEE YOU ARE IN AWE OF MY GREATNESS! I ASSURE YOU, THERE IS PLENTY OF IT TO GO AROUND. NOW OFF TO THE KITCHEN! NYEH HEH HEH HEH… HEH!”

I watch him run out the door as he laughs and feel like I've just been run over by a ball of fluffy kittens. My heart swells and my head gets a bit fuzzy as I start to smile from the amount of affection I've just been shown.

“Heh, my bro's the coolest,” is suddenly spoken next to my head, and I jolt with a yell which turns into a hiss as I bump my head against said wall. “Didn't mean to scare ya out of your skin, kid.”

I sigh, and then pause when I hear Papyrus speaking from the kitchen, “STOP SCARING THE HUMAN WITH YOUR PUNS SANS!!!”

I let out a quiet laugh at that as a small smile breaks my face again, but it withers away somewhat when I look back to Sans. He seems slightly awkward as he glances at his slippers when I hear him softly kicks a foot across the carpet. “So… ya comfy?” he asks, looking up at me again. I look at him strangely in confusion. “Right, still not much of a talker anymore when it comes to me, huh. That's ok, I can fill the silence with some jokes heh.”

Just as he's about to speak again, I interrupt him, “Th-thanks…” and then look down at my lap.

There's yet another moment of silence that stretches between up before Sans speaks again, “...For what?”

I sigh, “For being-” 'there,’ I think to myself, then scrap the idea. I sigh again, “For caring, I guess…”

It takes him a second to respond, and glance at him to see slight surprise quickly morph into a mask of a smile. “ Heh, course, it's not really that hard to just stand there, y'know.”

I frown and look at him, really look at him for the first time since coming down here, and despite the small discomfort gracing his features, I recognize the self-deprecation, or was it belittling himself? Regardless, I give him a firm staredown. “I mean it. Not every goes out of there way to… push a bit.” I look down at my lap again, losing my courage suddenly.

Another moment of silence passes, and I see from the corner of my that Sans’ face has an almost somber look to it, but it also seems a bit calmer now. “Heh… thanks, I guess,” he responds, seeming to much my previous words. I squint at him from the corner of my eye, and he chuckles at me in return.

“Whatever dude… You're just… a sad potato. Yeah.”

He seems slightly taken aback for a moment, then chuckles and gives me a weird look. “Heh, what's that supposed to mean kid?”

I smile a bit as I feel the atmosphere between us settle a bit, and I breathe a bit easier as I speak, “It means you're a sad potato, obviously…”

He laughs, “Ok, icy how it's gonna be. Keeping cryptic messages from me, thinking it's not gonna snowball back into your face.” 

I scrunch my face at him, “You're smart, you can figure it out!” And then I pull the covers over my face.

“Hey now,” he starts with a joking tone, pulling the covers off my face to which I whine at and roll away from him. I feel him sit on the bed and I hold still, waiting to see what he'll do next. I'm shocked when I feel him fall on his side next to me on the bed, and I have to take a moment to properly process this before I whip my head around to see that, yes, he did in fact lay down. 

I frown in confusion and move a bit to poke him hesitantly. “Hey, Sans…” I try to see if he'll respond, but instead I hear him start snoring. “Oh, come, on, yeah right, like you can actually fall asleep that fast.” I try to poke him some more in his arm, legs, even his ribs, but there's no response aside from a slightly jerk and a snort when I prod his chest. I sigh, and after giving it some thought, I decide that he must have been exhausted from the day and just wants some time to chill out. But I can't help wondering… why exactly did he do this here instead of in his own room? Is it because… hm… is it because of Papyrus? Maybe he's going to end up sleeping in here. And just as I think that, Papyrus brusts into his own room with a loud, “HELLO HUMAN!!” I cringe and look at Sans,but he doesn't even flinch. ‘How…?’ I wonder.”OH, ARE WE HAVING A SLEEPOVER?!”

I start to respond with uncertainty, but seeing his excited demeanor has me sighing and nodding. “OH MY STARS! I'VE ONLY EVER HAD SLEEPOVERS WOTH UNDYNE! AND SOMETIMES ALPHYS. BUT NEVER WITH A HUMAN!! THIS IS SO EXCITING!” Before I can respond, he straight on leaps into the bed, making me yelp in surprise and cling to the closest thing to me, which is unfortunately Sans.

“Papyrus, you nearly knocked me out of your bed- oof!” I'm interrupted by two long skeleton arms wrapping around me, which in turn traps my arms that are wrapped around Sans. I swallow nervously, not exactly certain on how Sans might feel about this somewhat awkward situation.

Papyrus cuddles us both, seeming oblivious to the awkward tension. “SORRY HUMAN, BUT I JUST COULDN'T RESIST DIVING INTO THE CUDDLE SESSION!”

“It-it's not a cuddle session…” I meekly reply, feeling a bit embarrassed about grabbing Sans, not to mention becoming a human sandwich.

“OH? IF IT IS NOT A CUDDLE SESSION, THEN WHAT IS IT?” Papyrus sounds curious, but I can't shake the feeling that he kind of knows what he's doing despite how sincere he sounds.

Nonetheless, I feel unable to answer because I don't really know how to explain it, nor what to call it. He's got me with this question, it seems.

“GASP! ARE YOU TWO DOING THAT THING THAT ALPHYS TALKS ABOUT SOMETIMES?” I hold my breath, utterly terrified of what's about to come next when “cuddling” and “what alphys said” come into the same picture. Before I can really speak, he continues with something I never wanted to hear from his mouth, “SPOONING?”

“WHAT?!” I jerk around to look at him with eyes popping out of my head, my grip around Sans tightening in fear. “WHAT did you say?!” Before he can repeat it, I realize what I'm doing to Sans and immediately attempt to flail so I can shove myself away from him. Unfortunately, Papyrus still has a firm hold around where my arms are, so I only manage to squirm my body away from Sans. “N-NO, no, I'm not-” I make a frustrated whine and try to push further away from Sans, pressing back against Papyrus in hopes that he'll give me room to move. Instead, Papyrus does the complete opposite and hugs me and Sans very tightly. I wheeze and go stiff as I'm completely trapped, and then I whine in desperation. 

“WHAT'S WRONG WITH SPOONING? ALPHYS SAID IT CAN BE COMPLETELY PLATONIC! THOUGH SHE DIDNT SPECIFY WHAT WLAE IT COULD BE…” I glance at Papyrus to see him getting that ahifty thinking face.

“It-it's not ‘sp-spooning,’ Papyrus…” I try to set the record straight, not wanting him to go around saying that to other people. 

He gives me a strange look before responding, “WELL, IF YOU SAY SO.” I sigh in relief and look back at Sans.

And Sans looks back at me, with his face yet again way too close for comfort. I lock up when we make eye contact, my eyes wide and my mouth forming a straight line. Sans seems to grin cheekily at me before glancing at my arms still wrapped and trapped around him. “I dunno about that, I'm kinda feeling like a spoon.” My eyes widen more at his comment and I let out a horrified squeak.

“THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT TOO! YOU LOOK LIKE A SPOON, NYEH!”

“No, no it's not-” I try to clear this up, but no suck luck.

“You're right Paps,I do look like a spoon.” And Sans gives me a shit eating grin as he turns over and starts to hug me. I completely lock up and my eye twitches as he looks up at me. The smell of calcium and pine overcomes mysense now that I'm completely engulfed in the skeleton brothers. “See? Now you're a spoon.”

I make a frustrated whining sound and squeeze my eyes shut.

“NYEH, IT APPEARS SO BROTHER! AND LOOK! I AM ALSO A SPOON!”

I decide to just cover my face with my hands… except they're trapped under Papyrus’ arms. I catch sight of Sans’ face level with my chin, and he takes no time with snickering at my misfortune. I groan and turn my face into the pillow.

It only takes about five minutes for Papyrus to settle down into sleep, and I feel envious despite the slowly diminishing discomfort I feel with the “spooning” situation. I'm so locked in my own thoughts that it takes me a moment to realize that something is snuggling into me, which makes me realize that Sans has kind of curled around me somehow despite being smaller than me. I look down at him to see that he has his head resting on the chubbier part of my shoulder, and I feel a mild discomfort wash over me before deciding that being a pillow can be helpful, as I can clearly see. When I return from my thoughts, I feel put on the spot when I see Sans watching me from cracked eyelids. I stare at him with uncertainty, and glance away for a second. Then I feel Papyrus put his head on my outer arm, and I see Sans glance at him before I do so as well. When I look back at Sans, his eye sockets are more open and he has a fond look on his face before looking back at me with a calmness.

“Thanks for…” he yawns, which in turn causes me to yawn “not turning down my bro for a sleepover. Made him real happy.”

“I mean…” I look away in embarrassment, “it's not like it technically wasn't true…” my voice gets quieter as I finish speaking and I puff my cheeks out.

Sans chuckles, “Heh, yeah, sure.” Silence stretches, and I find myself listening to the very faint sounds of Papyrus snoring very quietly with a “Nyeh heh heh” being his exhale. It makes me smile a bit and I close my eyes. Then I hear Sans hum and say something that has my eyes shooting open, “Y'know you're pretty comfy.” I stare above his head across the room, trying to inspect the bookshelf as my face morphs into a mildly unsettled expression. “There's not a lot of meat on our bones so, you feel a lot like a pillow to us. Helped Paps fall asleep faster.”

All I can say to this is a simple, “Oh,” as if I hand found something new and had no idea what to make of it. Which, in of itself, is true.

“Heh,” Sans says, and then his arms pull him closer so he's practically lying on top of me, one leg over mine and the other parallel to my legs. My eye twitches, because I honestly have no idea what to make of this situation anymore.

I let out a slightly strained, “...'kay.”

“You sound kinda…” he yawns again, “stressed out there.” His head burrows into my shoulder some more.

I hear my voice crack as I speak a bit louder, “I'm just really confused and… uh, confused.” I feel like I'm rising towards hysterics, because this is genuinely scrambling my brain.

“Heh…” Sans keeps holding on, and Papyrus curls up a bit so I'm forced to curl around Sans as well. “Don't make it weird, kid… Monsters…” he yawns yet again, “do this all the time… when they're close.”

“C-close?” I ask, not sure where he's going with that.

“Yeah, like… y'know, friends, or, whateva…” he sounds more and more tired with each passing moment, and without seemingly any thought, he clings to me like some kind of boney koala. It's not very comfortable, to be honest. It's only a second later when I hear him snoring softly. 

Now, surrounded by the sounds, smells, and solid bones of the skeletons, I find myself getting more and more tired, and yet I can't exactly fall asleep feeling so out of place and uncomfortable. I start wishing I could get up and go outside to clear my head, but that would take a lot of effort and would most likely wake up one or both of the brothers. I sigh and lean my head over, momentarily forgetting about Sans’ head until my face touches it. I immediately pull back and stiffen up, waiting to see if Sans does anything, but he simply snuggles me. 

So I'm officially stuck, and extremely weirded out, especially since Sans is snuggling me. Never had I ever thought this moment would occur, and yet here it is. Sans, the judge of the underground, cuddling me because I'm “soft.” What is my life anymore. I honestly can't process how this happened, nor can I understand how it happened so fast. And now I'm stuck here, arms still pinned and wrapped around Sans. I sigh again, and this time I just shut my eyes, feeling completely done with this entire scenario. So Sans said it's normal for monsters, and whether or not he's messing with me, I intend to latch onto that just so I can get a reassuring good night's sleep… not without waking up every time a bone jabs me, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Future chapters will definitely not be as long as this one. I debated whether to split this one or not, but I'm completely unsure about it. So TELL ME if you think it's a good idea or not. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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